worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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