Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
