The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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