Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
