apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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