at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize