okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
