those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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