i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
