...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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