So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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