I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize