My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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