i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
