You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
