I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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