I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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