so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
