At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
