It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
