Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you would pick up someone in the library
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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