anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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