I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
