Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
