I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
