those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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