Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
