You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
BRING THE BAGELS
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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