I think im going to throw up on grandma
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
