Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
