I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just sucked dick on a ferry
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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