you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
