how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize