you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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