I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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