apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
