We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
