singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
