I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
