I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
