Me. At least after what I've been through.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Randomize
