I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
