But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We had to coat check the pizza.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
