About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
