Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
