Just cropdusted the office
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
