I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
