You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She's the barista slut.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize