it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
