i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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