I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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