when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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