I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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