you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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