Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
