ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
